A powerful and personal account from Israel, and a plea for humanity on both sides of a devastating war.

Is this still my country? Sarah Levy has been asking herself this question ever since witnessing how Israel’s right-wing nationalist government has divided the nation. Then, on October 7, 2023, Hamas attacks. The brutal war upends the life she leads in Tel Aviv with her partner and child. They flee to her native Frankfurt – only for her to realize that Germany no longer feels like her home either. But the Israel she returns to is fighting for its soul. Friends suddenly carry weapons, relatives express genocidal thoughts toward Palestinians, and neighbors accuse her of betraying Israeli soldiers.

Life between bomb shelters and constant loss pushes Levy to her limits – as a mother, as a partner, and as a German who must now come to terms with the fact that the country she chose to live in may have long abandoned the hope for peace with the Palestinians.

What kind of person will her son become if he grows up here?

With critical compassion, Sarah Levy describes how radicalization and polarization transform a country—and ultimately, herself.